Facebook Short Takes

Posted by Hank on Aug 13, 2011 | 3 comments

This new economy the GOP is helping create, where the rich get ever richer, and the rest of us slide back into essential servitude, I think of it as the Futile System.

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My roomie just used the phrase “the Twelve Apostles” and my aged ears picked up “the Twelve Opossums.”

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Why do you suppose the religious stage is a historic hotbed of child molesting, but the science stage is not?

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THREE gray foxes on the lawn! Playing! (And I wish I was able to take pictures, but it’s too dark.)

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The GOP has the benefit of ESP — Extremely Scary People

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Dammit. I went to the local puppy mill six times, and EVERY TIME they were out of puppy flour.

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Are we doubling down on America’s Greased Chute into mediocrity? Is it possible we’re about to get a White House contender even DUMBER than George W. Bush? Someone who will make Bush look good, as Bush made Nixon and Reagan look good?

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I wonder sometimes if the music from the 60s to 80s is immortal in a way few of us have imagined. We have Mozart’s musical scores, but we have the actual PERFORMANCES of Aretha Franklin and the Rolling Stones, Ray Charles and the Bee Gees. Will people still be hearing their perfectly preserved voices and instruments in 50 years? 200? A thousand? I don’t see why not.

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Aware of my upcoming birthday, a friend suggested she might get me a nice geology souvenir — a coarse-grained metamorphic rock with a banded or foliated structure, consisting mainly of feldspar, quartz, and mica.

I replied, “That will be gneiss.”

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In the end I think it’s going to turn out that “Ann” Coulter is really living an immense joke at the Right Wing’s expense. When the fame finally dies down, I expect the tell-all to end all tell-alls, about how royally stupid the winger leadership is, how gullible the followers are, and how easily they were all taken in. How she said the most outrageous things she could think of, and NOTHING was too low or too offensive for them.

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Suppose, wherever you are in the world, you voluntarily separated yourself from existing nations, and formed, with other people like you, your own nation. You’d write your own transnational constitution, and formulate your own laws and economy. Something better than anything that exists now, more rational and progressive. Co-existing within the framework of the old nations and laws, but separate and apart. You wouldn’t secede, you’d supersede, wherever you live now. Hmm.

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Hey, wingers! Texas Governor Rick Perry is running for President! One thing I’d really like to see from all his right wing supporters: Show up at his event wearing guns! No, seriously! He’d LOVE it!

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Can’t stop yawning in the middle of the day? There’s a nap for that.

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All you bankers and corporate CEOs, the wealthy who pay no taxes, the politicians who feel comfortably remote from all this economic turmoil, all you safe, rich, smugly arrogant people — here’s something that occurred to me today:

If the world economy melts down, no place is safe. People are going to come over the walls and fucking eat you. And even if they don’t, the sweet life is over. For all of us.

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You know it’s true addiction when you both pause during sex to check your email and Facebook status.

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I have two friends (at least) who would get out of bed in the middle of the night, dress and drive to wherever I was, and help me out of a jam. No complaints, no questions asked, no payment expected. And here’s the thing: They’re both atheists.

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Deja View Estates: Coming Home Never Felt So Familiar!

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When you go to Heaven, you get your wisdom teeth back. If you’re not 100% grateful, you don’t get to dine at the table with Jesus. Also, they give you a scratchy robe that binds under the arms, and a halo that blinks off and on in a comical manner, spelling out “WHINER” in Morse code.

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I never use coupons (Subway Sandwich Club cards, etc.), no matter how much money I can “save.” I’m the only one I know who deliberately does this. It would take a while to completely explain how I feel about coupons, but it boils down to “sweet bait offered by corporations in order to own part of you.” If they want part of ME, part of MY time and life, they’re going to damned well have to offer more than 25 cents.

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They have their own onions, their own shorts, and even their own triangle. Why does the tiny island of Bermuda get so much airtime?

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Just proposed a story to the New York Times for the Sept. 11 ten-year anniversary issue. Fingers crossed, rabbit’s foot in hand, hat on backwards.

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Come to find out, the “coffee cake” I got at the store contains no coffee. I’m suing.

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When I was a kid, I thought “squalor” was the name of a town. Like Squalor, Georgia, or Squalor, Alabama. The way they’d talk about it in the news, practically spitting in disgust — a family LIVING IN SQUALOR — I thought, man, you never want to wind up THERE.

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So … if you’re getting patted down by TSA agents, is that a bad time to whistle Cee Lo Green’s “Fuck You!”?

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My back has been itching for several days. I think my leathery atheist wings are starting to come in.

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Every time cops shut down a kid’s lemonade stand, I think they should also shut down a church bake sale. After all, unless every cupcake and muffin is inspected by the Health Department, the public safety is equally at risk.

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If I ever happen to die, I want my last words to be “What a ride!”